Posted by: haircutsrevisited | July 16, 2012

Crossroads

Crossroads
By Tammy

Foreword: I’ve had a lot of indecisiveness over haircuts in the past and I love exploring it more.

I woke up that morning like any other. Hit the snooze button a few times and over slept a little. By the time I got out of bed my flatmate Sharon was in the shower so I wouldn’t get time to take one. So I got myself ready at my dresser mirror instead of the bathroom applying some light make-up. My hair was a mess and I did my usual tie-it-up in a little ponytail.

I have been struggling with my hair as I have been trying to grow it out, I had cut it into a short bob about 9 months ago and hated it. One day on my lunch hour I decided on a whim to go into a salon at the mall where I work and asked for a bob. The lady was a bit older and it was not a very expensive salon so instead of getting a posh style bob that I was thinking about, she ended up cutting it in a short box style bob with a fringe. I could tell right away as she was cutting it that it was going to be a disaster, but it was too late so nothing you could do about it.

I’ve been growing my hair ever since and now it was finally at a length where it can just barely reach a ponytail. I am getting fed up with it, I can’t where it down as it looks hideous and the ponytail looks stupid as it is still too short, and short bits of hair stick out of the elastic. I need to clip sections of hair up to keep it in a ponytail. That haircut was the biggest regret of my life and I really miss my long hair. Part of me wants to just chop it all off as it looks terrible, but part of me also wants to let it keep growing. I am terrified to go back for another haircut after the last one so I don’t know what to do with myself.

I quickly got into the bathroom and brushed my teeth before heading out the door. No time for breakfast so it will be Tim Horton’s this morning for me. I got to the mall and I parked at the rear entrance like usual, even though I work at the other end of the mall I like to park at the rear as there is a little Barbershop at that entrance that I like to look into when I come to and from work.

I don’t know why but I love looking in there. I love it when there is a cute guy sitting in their getting a haircut, the look of it is sexy with him caped in the chair. If I am lucky there will be someone in their usually around when I go home and as this is Friday, chances are better to see a guy getting a haircut for the weekend. The barbers or older Italian guys and friendly so they usually nod or wave when I come and go from work, I kind of like that friendly daily interaction with them.

Lately I’ve been so fed up with my hair that I imagine myself going into that barbershop and just cutting it all off real short. Sometimes after work as I walk towards the shop I try to build up my nerve to just walk right in there and ask for a haircut, but I psych myself out at the last minute, getting to my car with a slight bit of disappointment.

When I got my bob it took a lot for me to work myself up to go through with it as I had been thinking about it for a while. I work at reception at a dentist so on my lunch I would go down to the mall and try and work up the nerve to walk into that salon and tell them to cut a bob. I had long hair all my life so the thought of cutting it was so exhilarating for me. I was so proud when I finally went through with it and scared as hell. I was so disappointed with the haircut after and upset with myself for doing it, lots of regret in the end.

Now I am at the point where I am just tired of dealing with it. I am past regret as I have to live with it the best I can. It will take at least another year and a half to two years for it to get to the long length it once was, so I was at the point where I just wanted to give up.

Today was a different turn of events then my usual Friday. There was a snowstorm in the forecast for the evening drive home so the dentist decided to reschedule the afternoon appointments, he said I could work through my lunch and leave at 2 o’clock instead of 5 to try and beat the storm. I got through all my filing and shut the office down at 2 and we all left for the day. I was walking through the mall thinking of what I could do for the rest of the day and my thoughts went to my barbershop walk-by. I was thinking to myself, is today the day I finally go through with it?

This was very similar to my thoughts 9 months before when I was thinking about getting my bob. The thoughts are exhilarating and send butterflies through my stomach. I came around the corner and could see the Barber Shop at the end of the mall next to the exit. I slowed my pace as I approached, half wanting to walk straight into that shop, and half wanting to just b-line straight for the car.

This time was no different as I was my usual nerves, only I was finding myself getting tired of this almost daily routine and feelings of frustration. C’mon Tammy, don’t be a wuss, I was thinking to myself.

I slowed my pace even more and turned my direction more towards the barbershop instead of the exit, I could feel my heart pounding and my palms sweaty as I approached. I’ve done this before and bailed at the last moment but this time I was keeping my nerve up as I got closer and closer to the shop. That little voice rang through my head…..just get this over with already

I actually made it to the threshold of the shop and walked over the line, I finally did it.

“Hello” the first barber said as I entered, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I was wanting to get a haircut.” I said.

“Certainly, take a seat and we will be right with you.” He said motioning towards a waiting bench.

The bench was empty and each barber had a customer in the chair which meant I would be next. I took my jacket off and scarf and hung it on the coat rack. I took a seat and waited, excited in anticipation. I never really thought this far ahead and didn’t know what haircut to ask for, only that I wanted to go short.

The first barber had a young guy about my age in the chair, I recognized him from one of the shops in the mall, and he looked so sexy sitting there all caped with his wet hair, the other barber was just finishing up with an older man, brushing him off and sliding the cape off him.

I watched nervously as the customer paid, took his coat and hat from the coat rack and said goodbye on his way out…..

“Next.” The barber said as he returned to his chair and spun it to face me…

Holy shit, I thought to myself, I am really doing this. I got up and walked slowly over to the chair, my knees feeling like they were about to give and I had wobbly ankles like I was going to fall over on my heels. I turned and slid up into the chair and the barber spun me to face the mirror. I glanced over at the guy sitting next to me and butterflies filled my stomach seeing him, He glanced over and gave me a nod and I gave him a smile back.

“So what are we doing today?” the barber asked me and my mind just drew a blank. I reached up to pull my hair out of my ponytail and my hair fell to my shoulders as I answered him.

“Um….” I said. “I was thinking of going short, like over my ears short.” I told him.

“Over your ears like just past your ears?” he asked pointing to the bottom of my earlobe “or over your ears like around your ears?” he said.

“em,” I said nervously, “like around my ears” I said as I reached up and pulled my hair over my ears to expose them.

“OK,” he said.” You want it short up the sides and back and longer on top?” He asked and I gave him a nod for yes.

“How long you want it on top?” He asked.

“Um, maybe about this long.” I said holding up my fingers to show a couple of inches in length between my index finger and my thumb. My hand was shaking so much and as I showed him about 2” I was finding myself close that gap ever so slowly to about an inch and a half as my hand was shaking.

“No problem.” He said as he reached for a cape and slid it over me. He wrapped a neck strip around my neck and fastened the cape taught around my neck. The cape was a light blue cotton material and so different than anything I’ve seen before.

He reached over for a large black comb and the biggest looking scissors I have ever seen. He came around me standing over me and started combing my hair out with the comb. He sectioned off a lock right at the top of my head and held it up between his fingers at what looked like about 1” above my scalp.

“About here.” He asked as he held the scissors open to my lock of hair. I looked like a petrified deer staring into the headlights of a car at night and I found myself give a weak nod. I watched as the scissors closed into my hair and the realization sunk in right away….no turning back now.

The lock of hair fell gracefully in front of me landing on the cape in my lap. He was swift to comb out another section and more of my hair rained down in front of me straight into my lap. I lost myself in the moment as it felt intoxicating having my past 9 months of frustration swiftly taken away from me right before my very eyes. It was a very liberating moment for me.

I snapped back to reality and took another look at myself as my hair was now roughly cut to a severely short length on top and he was now cutting away over my right ear, and my hair slid down my shoulder into my lap. My left side was still untouched and laying over my shoulder waiting for the scissors to shear it off.

I glanced over at the guy next to me and he seemed mesmerized by what was happening with me. Are eyes made contact for a moment and he sort of shook back to reality and looked away like he thought he was being rude for staring, but I didn’t mind.

The barber was standing behind me and tilted my head down slightly and he began cutting off my hair at the back of my head. I could feel with each snip my head get lighter and lighter and the coolness in the air on my newly exposed neck. He came around my left side and I watched as the scissors cut the last of my hair and is slid down my shoulder into my lap.

He reached over for a water bottle and sprayed my hair down so it was wet. He came back behind me again holding up sections on top and neatening the length on top to maybe just past one inch long on top. I was smiling with satisfaction seeing how short he was cutting it with a sense of accomplishment….I finally did it I said to myself, watching my transformation before me.

He neatened up the sides and back cutting it short with his scissors over the comb, he would comb my hair straight up and the scissors rapidly open and closed as he cut away at my hair. I was transfixed watching this process as I had never experienced it before, only seen it as I walked past looking into the barbershop.

The hairdryer was going at the chair next to me and I looked over to see his hair nice and neat, around his ears, short sides and back and long on top still with a longish fringe. He looked so cute sitting there with his haircut that I wanted to say something to him but that felt out of place.

I just watched as his barber took the cape off him, dusted him off, and showed him the back of his hair with the mirror. “Perfect” he said and he got up to pay and left.

The other barber took a seat on the bench as there were no other customers and started up some small talk.

“You work in the mall?” he asked.

“I work upstairs at the dentist office.” I said.

“You a dentist?” he asked.

“I’m the receptionist.” I said.

“Oh, receptionist,” He said, “Yea I see you when you come to work every day.” I gave him a smile.

I took another look at how my hair was progressing and he was nearly finished. It looked so different short but kind of the same because I wear a ponytail all the time, only now I won’t have to deal with that anymore. I loved the way it was looking on me, a lot shorter then I imagined it but I loved that for some reason.

He took a hairdryer and dried it off for me ruffling the top with his fingers. When he dried it he took some gel and ran it through the top.

“This is easy to take care of now” he said as he applied the gel. “Just put a little gel and mess it up a little.” I smiled acknowledging him.

He unfastened my cape and slid it off me, I watched as my long locks of hair slid off the cape and onto the floor in front of me. He picked up the hand mirror and showed me the back.

“Wow” I said looking at my reflection.

“New you.” He said.

“Definitely.” I said with a huge smile. I reached up to feel it for the first time and got goose bumps feeling how short it was. It felt so amazing. I got up and paid, put my jacket back on and my scarf, and made my way out of the shop saying “having a nice weekend.” To the barbers and they said the same back.

I walked out of the mall and the cold winter air blew over my head and it felt so cold now without all that hair. It was going to take some time to get used to. I drove straight home beating the storm and rush hour traffic and entered the flat.

“Sharon,” I called out as I entered.

“In here,” She answered from her bedroom. I walked straight into her room to show her.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“Ahhh.” She screamed out seeing me. “Your hair!!!! Oh my god.” I gave a big smile.

“You like?” I asked.

“Yea I do, I just can’t believe how short it is.” She said. “What did you do?” she asked.

“I got it cut at the mall after work.” I said.

“Again, I thought you hated that place?” she asked.

“I went to another place this time, the barbershop.” I said.

“A barber!!! No wonder it’s so short.” She said.

“I know, I love it though, it feels so amazing.” I said as a felt it once again. Sharon got up to feel it as well running her hands over the short sides and back.

“That feel so soft.” She said. ‘And it does look really good on you. Your crazy though but it looks good.”

“Thanks.” I said and left.

I decided to take a shower as I missed it this morning. I went to my room and got undressed and took to the bathroom. It felt so amazing to wash it. I used too much shampoo at first as I am used to long hair still. If felt so surreal to not have it long anymore like washing it or moving around, I am used to having to hold my hair back out of the way but now there is nothing to hold onto. I loved it.

I had a quite weekend as the storm came so I went to see some friends. My hair was a big hit with everyone saying it was much better than that bob that I had before. I was so relieved now not having to deal with it anymore and not fixated on trying to grow it anymore, I was just content with it now.

Monday came around and I was up with my alarm finding the energy to get out of bed, I wanted to take a shower now and dry my hair and style of for a change and not loath having to tie it back and clip it up with hairclips anymore.

I had enough time to make coffee and eat a good breakfast before work. When I got to work I was met with a compliment, my first one ever from Doctor Bernstein, who usually doesn’t get personal like that in the workplace.

“Oh you’ve had another haircut.” He said.

“Yes.” I said with a smile.

“That looks much better on you.” He said. “Much better than your last one.”

“Thank-you.” I told him. “I am really happy with it.” I said smiling, I nearly fell over from the compliment as that was so out of the ordinary from him.

At lunch I went down to the food court and got some fried rice from the Chinese food place and was sitting at a table at the end of the food court when he came over to me.

“Is anyone sitting there?” He asked me and I looked up to see that guy that was getting his haircut on Friday with me. I was taken by complete surprise.

“Absolutely.” I said very nervously….”I mean no one is sitting there so absolutely you may sit with me….em join me.” I had to cut myself off. What the hell was I saying??? I was so nervous I was jumbling my words.

I looked up into his eyes and he was kind of chucking at me as he sat down and said “OK” in kind of a cool manner. I felt like such an idiot.

“I like your hair.” He said.

“Thank-you.” I answered.

“When you came into the barbershop I was thinking what the hell is this girl doing.” He said. “But it looks really good on you.”

“Well that just me,” I said with a smile. ”Crazy Crazy.”

Oh My God would you just shut up already I thought to myself.

“um, Spontaneous…I mean.” I said trying to correct myself. “I really like your haircut as well.” I said trying to cover for myself.

“Thanks.” He said. “Do you get your haircut there often?”

“Nope, that was my first time.” I said.

“I’ve never seen a girl get a haircut at a barbershop before so I was kind of wondering.” He said.

“I guess I was kind of curious as well.” I said.

“It looks really good though.” He said and I smiled, I could feel my cheeks getting hot so I knew I was blushing, so I tried to calm myself down.

“So you work in the mall?” I asked.

“I work at Rory’s Clothiers.” He said.

“Oh.” I said.

“How about you?” he asked.

“Doctor Bernstein’s Upstairs.” I told him. “I’m his receptionist.”

“Well My name is Michael.” He said.

“Hi Michael, I am Tammy.” I said…..

Thanks for reading,

Tammy

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Responses

  1. Thanks so much for posting these, Tammy. I always enjoy your work, the authentic, natural flow of the dialogue, the rushes of emotions that your characters feel, the scenarios, and their variety. I really enjoyed catching up with your last few stories.


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